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Worried about our Host (TW: Emotions) : Dissociative Identity Disorder Forum
We have one rule about the hand written journal, that it’s forbidden to remove anything from it by making it impossible to read or tearing pages out of it. I think that’s important.
You didn’t tell what upset her. If it was just the fact you are true and willing to communicate, she just needs time. You don’t need to remove anything, she can leave the journal be and not look at it as long as she doesn’t want to. Now she doesn’t have the option to go back and read it again after settling down. For some reason the communication is a lot to many hosts in the beginning, it makes things more real. But then it’s time to remember that nothing else has changed but their own awareness. It will be easier after getting used to it. That’s part of the process to go thru all the negative stuff that comes with having severe disorder. It’s more than normal to feel bad because of it. You need to do that before accepting it.
It’s important to remember that people should have ALL the emotions. We are not supposed to be happy all the time. It makes us not aware of danger and lacking boundaries, if we can’t get angry or suspicious or feel sad. They all are totally normal healthy feelings, nothing to avoid. Hosts aren’t that good dealing with emotions that feel bad, because they push them to someone else. That’s not right way to continue with your life. The goal is to not be afraid of being scared or sad or angry. Those emotions can come, and nothing bad happens because they are there. And then they will pass. You guys are there to make things easy for her, that’s part of your job. Still host feeling bad is nothing you need to fix. That is one phase they need to go thru in order to accept the way things are.
If she was upset because of something traumatic, she can avoid it as long as she needs to. Don’t force it to her, she will come and ask when she’ll be ready. She probably needs T and a lot of strength she yet doesn’t have to face it. She will have that strength when she learns to cope wit bad feelings about things that aren’t traumatic.
You should never push anyone or force, because you can’t know where their breaking point is. But you can tell them they are not alone, that nothing bad is happening, they can survive from feelings and they are safe, feelings will come and go and it’s all part of being more whole. She can tell you what helps her. Some people wanna deal with their stuff alone and some want support. Some cope better when talking about things, having words to describe something makes your mind process it differently, some want to express it non verbally, like by drawing etc. What ever the way of dealing with it is, the point is to DEAL with it and let it come out, not concentrate on something else and push the feeling back in where it can be suffocated. There’s a big difference between those two.
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