Should you tell a narcissist they are a narcissist? Psychology of NPD and Narcissism

Should you tell a narcissist they are a narcissist? Psychology of NPD and Narcissism

Should you tell a narcissist they are a narcissist? Is it a good idea to confront a narcissist with the truth of who they are/ Can you explain narcissism and NPD to a narcissist and expect them to understand? Will they have remorse? Will they try to change?

In this video, I’ll share the psychology of what a narcissist will do if you try to confront them with proof that they are a narcissist. And, if you look at it, you’ll know for sure that even if you know how to spot a narcissist, it’s not the best idea.

Understanding the Psychology of Narcissistic Personality Disorder I

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October 20, 2017 / 25 Comments / by / in
  • I believe narcissist are very aware of what they do. Narcissist don't care at the end of the day

  • Yes best not to tell them. Lay and professional experts with these people say not to and best to quickly and quietly leave the relationship which I did from a friendship and have gone no contact.

  • Never confront them, RUN, and count your blessings for figuring it out!!

  • Yeah, but I'm sick and when I'm sick is when I'm weak and when I'm weak the angst comes pouring out and for the proverbial 5 seconds before I'm blind sided in retaliation telling him off and getting it all out sure felt good, especially, when I've been holding it back for months… and especially when it involves the way my child has been treated by the whole fam damnly. Angie. I've come to the conclusion you've got some sort of ESP! …And to the person stalking my posts. Yes, I'm fully aware of the narc's church of origin and why he went there and if any of that family wants to reach out to me, then do. Don't stalk though. That's just weird. I caught that right away. I also know he hung out with Robert Butler with Aryan Nations at the same time and this narc convinced the leader of the Neo Nazis that he was white when he is anything but! That is one talented lying narc right there! True story! Chameleons have nothing on this one!

  • I'm scared like hell about telling them anything negative about themselves! Mine calls me a psychopath, but I know that he's projecting and that's not true.
    I practice detachment: on an argument I unfold myself into a an outside observer and register everything in an analytic and almost scientific way, avoiding emotional damage at the same time. All this while appearing compliant, to not provoking him.

  • I think talking and being honest is always good. My boyfriend is a complete narcissist but he hasn't always been like that. He has had triggers and stressors in his life that led him into bad ways and being dishonest and addicted and selfish and a user. His heart is still good and I never give up hope that he will have an epiphany and turn his life around in the way he acts and treats others. I believe it's possible. But I choose to detach with love and pray for him, but focus on my own life until such time if/when he makes a real change. I'm not going to waste my time stressing out about, arguing with or being used by someone who is choosing to stay in the dark. I am an empath and I like to live in the light.

  • i realize my ex bf is wayyyy after breakup. i learn from youtube vids i should not bc no point going about it.

  • Took me 11 years to realize my narc was what he was. 2 weeks ago I fled our shared home after the abuse, the lies, the cheating. Only to find out I'm pregnant. This will be our second child together and I'm devastated. We have no contact now but I know he'll be trying to slither his way back in when the baby is close to being due. I'm so hurt but I know what I'm doing is absolutely the best thing for my mental emotional health and my children. I told him he was a narcissist, it was a waste of time. From that moment on he went on a mission to make me believe I was crazy.

  • I told the ex narc he was a narcissist and he said how and as I was explaining, he fell asleep. LOL

  • I confronted my ex roomate / narcissist and his responce was. " I maybe a bit sociopathic but I will have to look into the narsasistic part so I will put a pin in it. Granted this is after he called me all the names in the book. Don't know what ever came of it for I stopped talking to him 6 months ago.

  • They deny it.

  • In some cases, watching their reaction after being confronted may be the best way to prove to yourself that they are what they are.

  • no never

  • I have confronted my ex, at first he got mad and went full ironic "oh, so I'm a psychopath now?". When he realized I wasn't going to back down this time, he came up with the most insane plan. He actually started going to therapy and used it to try and hoover me. It lasted around 1 month, before he noticed it wasn't working either and snapped at me saying he could never be a narc due to the things he did for me (such as * believe it or not* baking a special birthday cake and taking me to work). According to him, thinking he could be a narc got him really worried but now he was fine because he realized he wasn't one, since "he had put me on a pedestal". Therapy was over and he immediately started hunting for another supply. That's how crazy it all was…

  • Well yes and no. He did move out. But he has never moved on. He has decided that I'm the best negative supply ever. I ignore him for the most part…so he hammers me hard until i finally blow up…this takes a long time and i think he is getting bored, finally, and looking for a new target for a while.

  • This is a great reminder.after being out 13 months N/C & a bit of hoovering in early July & none since.Thank God ! I decicided not to . As Karma's wheel constantly turns. I've read a lot of things saying that N's can be transformed with self betterment an practice empathy an I beg to differ.

  • I agree 100%. My partner is an ACOA but with a lot of (too many?) narcissistic behaviours caught from his family and exes. This year I got him to agree to go for counselling. He is so angry and offended. I figured him out and he is in a rage. He has accused me of abusing him and it's amazing how convincing he can be. My boundary setting has been labelled cruel abuse. Nothing could have caused more pain but it did open my eyes to the futility of trying even with someone who's not high on the spectrum. 😞

  • The only thing about confronting a narcissist is that you have educated yourself and realized they will never change. Run, don't walk, as fast as you can. Save your breath, leave.

  • Omg! Thank you for this Angie. I kept trying this, thinking he could see some reason. HUGE mistake. He admitted and then started punishing me then took back his admission

  • So my narcs. In life are my mom and abusive older brother. Brian, I avoid as many children as possible after he ripped my face open with the spiked end of a bbq grill. As I'm bleeding in the kitchen, telling mom to call our boss (we work together) and tell him I have to miss work. She says no, she can't call him, no no no. She saus I'm fine, we don't need to call him and tell him anything, blah blah. I will never forget this moment… I turn to her, still rinsing my mouth where Brian had split the side open nearly two inches into my cheek. She blinks at me, playing dumb or blind, I don't know, I couldn't tell you what she was thinking… I say to her "I can't believe you care more about being EMBARRASSED more than your own daughter." She says"what?" not understanding. So I rinse my mouth, but instead of spitting in the sink, I let the blood just run down my face, so she could finally see how bad it was. She cries out "oh god…" and again, I tell her to call our boss, and she says "no, I don't want to…you should call…" So I scream, enunciating every word: "You Care More. About Being. EMBARRASSED. Than Your Own Daughter!" She shakes her head. So I say "fine, I'll call our boss after I call the police." Brian was still in the house begging, not for forgiveness, but "please don't call, women beaters in jail get killed, please don't let her call the police." As I move to the phone, my mom, grudgingly, intercepts me and calls our boss. As I listen to her not tell him the whole story, I hear my own words echoing in my head… Later, after the hospital called police, I discover my parents aided my brother in avoiding the police. I come home and they let him back into the house. He is still home. I'm expected to ignore the problems, or not being it up, if I do then suddenly I become the purported antagonist. My mom, when I start planning on leaving or even just stepping in front of a train, constantly finds ways in which she tells me, "you belong here, you're a member of the family…" I realize that she uses the fact that she "cares" about me to make me feel obligated to stay in a toxic environment. As her narcissism becomes more apparent (ha) I realize how she invalidates me, and I call her out. I recognize in every interaction emotional manipulation tactic after emotional manipulation tactic. I clearly see her desperation for attention and her unwillingness to accept fault. I realize I have all 5 signs of Angie's video regarding narcissistic parents and symptoms. I don't recommend taking a shot of whiskey per sign, as 5 shots in less than 6 minutes isn't safe; this also from personal experience… After turning 27, I had the epiphany that I'm a grown woman-child, and despite trying to grow up, I've been weak, and I need to stop allowing others to determine my focus. I knew my family home has always been a battleground, the abuse from Brian starting when I was 4, but I'm older now, it's time for me to walk away from conflicts that will remain stale and not discern any positive outcome for anyone. I am a survivor. I have adopted behaviors and terminology of narcissistic abuse recovery victims, and the help Angie has taught me has been my sword and shield, giving me strength to fight for, and love, my true self; even though my parents don't understand. I'm at war, have been all my life, but now it's easier to fight back since I know where the shots are coming from. As for today's question, sorry about the tangent, I recommend taking a stand only after you have grieved over the falsehoods of self, both from you and your narc. Otherwise they will suck you back in. It's hard, but so is a scenario in which abuse is allowed to occur. Another time, true story, I have video recording of Brian physically abusing Mom. I tell her, then I tell her I'm gonna call police. She says no. I say I'm going to anyways. She recruits my dad to ask me not to call, knowing I won't if he asks me…knowing I'm daddy's girl and deep down I would do anything for my parents, so why, why would dad help mom allowing Brian to continue hurting our family? I still have trouble, because I feel guilty for leaving. This isn't like some stupid boyfriend or guy being a narcissistic jerk, these are my parents, so making my mother face her mirror becomes less important as I struggle to see if dad is a victim like me, or if I'm just really that blind and stupid. I'm sorry guys, I can't answer this question for anyone, not even myself. I have to go.

  • As always Angie, thank you and God bless you for your help. It means so much. Stay Strong Survivors!!

  • I meant to say I avoid as many interactions as possible since (the latest) Brian hurt me. Not children… darn auto-correct …

  • I've tried and pretty much everything you've said is true. Not worth it. For me it ended up with me crying out of frustration and hurt from the backlash.

  • I told my husband that he is a narc so now he is trying to prove he's not. Asks me how I feel and hasn't raged at me once in at least a month. But I also won't engage not matter what he says. He can say something completely baffling about whatever and I just say 'could be" or "maybe so". I didn't tell him to try to change him. I guess I just wanted him to know the blinders were off. Oh and I also told him that I now love myself. He is trying a new tactic but it wont work. I am onto him.

  • No..tried that a awhile ago. They will just tell everyone how crazy and abusive you are "constantly" belittling them by urging them to seek a counsellor and to leave you alone. They after all, are the ones "helping" you by allowing you to be graced by their presence.If you do this be prepared to Ignore or block, or better yet change your phone number

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