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Added: March 11, 2019
Nervousness : Borderline Personality Disorder Forum
Hey I’m just gonna get to the point.
I know most borderline people are naturally charismatic and can find friends or lovers fast, even tend to overshare fast… But I’m the opposite of this. I’m acting so closed off most people won’t approach me. I’ll be avoiding eye contact, crossing my arms, generally trying not to exist and pretending like I don’t see you and just giving off some kind of vibe of not wanting to be interacted with.
When I talk to people I’m kind of paralyzed.. I try to seem normal but it’s not who I am and the other person can sense that. I’m actually very funny and exciting but all this just won’t come out. Because of nervousness and fear I come out as boring I think. Except for when I’m in a really good mood or tipsy.
That’s probably why I like to drink and go to parties. All the guys I’ve been with I’ve met when I was drunk. That’s the only time I don’t feel bad for existing and open up.
I’ve been diagnosed with bpd. I know I have a deep rooted issue with myself but doesn’t every borderline person? So why am seemingly only I unable to let myself be seen and heard and make friends?
It’s so frustrating, I’m so mad because of this.. I just wish I didn’t feel so nervous when anyone’s around. Like everything about me is inappropriate..
How do I make it stop..
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