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Added: February 11, 2019
Me and BPD at age 43 : Borderline Personality Disorder Forum
This is my first post to this forum. I am a 43 year old man living with a few mental health disorders, namely Bipolar, OCD, PTSD and Borderline.
I was diagnosed when I first started getting treatment at the age of 32. I had been having the symptoms and had no idea what I was dealing with.
I heard that men with Borderline Personality Disorder was uncommon. I thought it would have gone away by now because of age, but it hasn’t.
I have fear of abandonment
Have a hard time when someone leaves, like a therapist leaving, which is happening now.
Anger and rage, not all of the time
I lie and make things up
I am usually a negative person
i self harm
Feelings of sadness and emptiness,
One extreme to the other
Doom and Gloom
Push and Pull people
Push people out of my life then feel that abandonment that I created
Hate my life
Suicidal Idealizations sometimes with plans and means
I do, I honestly want to end it
I just turned 43 and wonder how the hell did I make it this far
I hate my life so much
My psychiatrist and therapist say I have it
I’m angry, so angry. I hate my therapist as this will be the last time I see him
I don’t want to live anymore
How do I escape this madness
Then the OCD PTSD and BIpolar
I can’t deal anymore
I just can’t escape
I can’t be alone yet I am
I can’t do it
I don’t want to do it
I want to quit
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