Just like any job, some people are good at it, while others are not. Many of you have told me that you either didn’t click with a therapist or they did (or didn’t do) some things that really left you feeling bad or hurt. Today I would like to offer up 5 signs that you are seeing a bad therapist or that your therapist isn’t a good fit.
1. You feel like you have to prove things because they act like they don’t believe you. I have heard from some of you that when you expressed what you were struggling with, your therapist said things like, “oh that’s not too bad,” or “are you sure it’s really that hard for you?” If you feel that you have to prove just how sick you are or how hard something is for you, you need to find someone else. A therapist is supposed to be there to support and help, not minimize and invalidate.
2. They don’t remember anything you have said from previous sessions. Do you always have to retell them things? Do they never remember what it is you do for a living? Or do they give you homework and never follow up on it? As a therapist I know how easy it is to take 5 minutes before a sessions to read through the homework I gave last session and where we left off. If they can’t do that for you, time to find someone else.
3. They allow you to text, email, call, etc anytime you need….and they reply quickly. Unless this is part of a safety plan because we are struggling with suicidal thoughts, they cannot be reachable at all time. This not only causes therapists to burn out, but it also stops you from practicing any of the things you are working on in therapy. A therapist should be a support, not a crutch.
4. You just chat like friends, and don’t really do any therapeutic work. If you have done a lot of work in the past and now you just feel like you don’t have anything to talk about, YAY! That means you don’t need therapy anymore, and can slowly stop coming! In truth, that is the whole goal of therapy! Go you!
If you haven’t ever worked on anything together, but the conversation is just so easy and friendly that you keep coming back to chat, you need to find someone else. Therapy isn’t a social experience. I know that sounds bad to say, but therapy is hard and is supposed to challenge us and help us grow. If we are just talking like we are old friends, that doesn’t achieve any of that. Time to find someone who can help us move forward.
5. They talk about themselves, A LOT! This is YOUR time, not theirs! They should be in their own therapy, so that they have a place to talk about their issues. Using your hour to do that is wrong, and you should find someone else to see immediately!
I know it can be hard to find the right therapist, and someone that we click with. My hope is that these red flags can help you better find a good therapist who is going to be there for you to work on the stuff you need to work on. Remember, therapists are people to, and some are great at their jobs while others are not. I want each of you to be able to find someone you can work with who is going to challenge you and help you grow. xox
HELP! SUBTITLE VIDEOS http://goo.gl/OZOQXi WE NEED YOUR HELP!
Subtitle videos if you know English or any other languages! You can help people who are either hearing impaired or non native English speaking. By doing this, you are helping others and strengthening our community.
MY FREE WORKBOOKS
Easy to follow at home workbooks for your mental health
Self-Harm workbook http://goo.gl/N7LtwU
Eating Disorder workbook http://goo.gl/DjOmkC
LGTBQ workbook http://goo.gl/WG8jcZ
Wondering if I have answered a question like yours?
Search for it here: http://goo.gl/1ECSlO
MY VIDEO SCHEDULE
Monday – New mental health topic video
Thursday -q&a’s, guests, mental health in the news, etc
SENDING KATI STUFF
1223 Wilshire Blvd. #665
Santa Monica, CA 90403